The Oval Office
(Union of Socialist American Republics)
Dear Leader: Rahm, get the Vice President in here.
Rahm:: At once, Comrade President.
Rahm (formal tone):: Comrade President, the Vice President.
The Gaffer: Good morning, Comrade President. I hope you are feeling chipper today.
Dear Leader: Since you should consider this being taken to the woodshed, I'm feeling very chipper.
The Gaffer: Wh-what's the problem, Comrade President?
Dear Leader: Joe, you've got a big mouth. You are even making Dick Cheney look like a genius, and it reflects badly on me since I picked you.
The Gaffer: But, but, what have I said?
Dear Leader: How about when you were talking about closing Gitmo and said, " It's like opening Pandora's Box. We don't know what's inside the box."? And then saying that you're out of the loop as if I'm not keeping YOU informed? How about that?
The Gaffer (whining): I-I-I'm sorry. There were no consequences when I said bad things in the Senate.
Dear Leader: And what about when you revealed where the Vice President's bunker is located.? Why don't you just invite the terrorists in for tea? Jeez!!
The Gaffer: Well, at least I got rid of those school kids so the Steelers could see you.
Dear Leader: WHAT? That was you? I'm still getting emails from crying kids! Rahm, get him out of here!
Rahm (formal): Comrade Vice President, this way please.
Rahm:: He's gone Comrade President.
Dear Leader: Did you alert Al-Qaeda that he'd be heading for the Naval Observatory?
Rahm:: Of course. He'll be of no further trouble.
Dear Leader: Now. What to do about Cheney. He seems to be making me look bad lately.
Rahm:: You could appoint him Vice President. There'll be an opening. Just kidding. He takes a lot of medication for that ticker of his.
Dear Leader: Yes, he does, doesn't he? Perhaps an accidental dose? See to it.
Rahm:: By your command, Comrade.
Dear Leader: Yes, because I won.
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Last modified: May 22, 2009